Wednesday, December 24, 2014

Merry Christmas 2014

Maybe some year I'll actually get this finished before Christmas Eve....

Tuesday, December 16, 2014

Nine Years

As we cross the threshold of our 9th anniversary, I am thinking of that night nine years and a handful of months ago. The night that Rob casually mentioned maybe we could get married? He was so nervous. I was excited. I had not pushed him to marriage, I knew when he was ready, he would be ready. It was no official marriage proposal. Just hey, what do you think about getting married? I think we both needed that though. He was nervous of rejection, and I was cautious of making a bad decision.

That night, I think I prayed and reached out harder than I had in any past prayer. I wanted, needed to feel that confirmation of yes, he was my man for eternity. But I was steeling myself for that still small voice to say wait, you/he aren't ready or right for each other. Such an agonizing moment! Only to be rewarded with a soft, warm yes. Just a gentle yes, enough for me to KNOW it was right. And it grew. That entire night. It didn't disappear. As my elation grew, realizing I'd gotten the answer I desired, that feeling of *right* just got stronger.

And it's never diminished. Nine years on, and I'm still as dedicated to him as that night, the night I knew we were destined to spend eternity together. How sweet the feeling is. He is my rock, my safe place when I am feeling pushed by outside influences and stressed to my limits. He's always supporting me, always holding me, even when we are not together, he's there.

I love you Rob. Happy anniversary. I will love you nine more years and then for eternity after that.

Monday, August 18, 2014

A Depressing Post....

This is just a repost from Facebook. I put this out there last week, but since I don't have any confidence in FB lasting and the blog is *MY* space, I wanted to put it here....

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Usually I don't say anything about big events that happen. So much is already said by everyone else and I don't have anything to contribute. But I feel like this time, I have to put in my two cents. Here goes:

For once, I completely disagree with Matt Walsh. His latest post demeans those of us who struggle with depression, minimizing our pain, minimizing how inexplicably horrible it makes one feel. He says all we need is joy and spirituality. And we'll be okay. I'm sorry people, but that's just bull. Church is a big part of my life, and I am a faithful Mormon through and through, but it isn't such a ridiculously simple solution like that. God will help me through depression episodes, but mostly in guidance for what I can do to help myself and others.

Rather, in this case, and in many many cases where a person has chosen suicide as an escape from their living hell, I much prefer the words of The Bloggess - "Depression lies." It truly does lie to you. You can have a fabulously amazing life, surrounded by amazing people who love you, and the depression tells you there is nothing, there is no light to see, there is nothing to live for. It tells you that you are worthless, that your life is meaningless to others, that they are better off without you.

It's a horrible feeling. I remember when I was halfway through my pregnancy, while getting ready for church one Sunday, I just laid down on the ground and started crying. There was no reason to breakdown like that. I had been feeling sad for a few weeks until that day, I just suddenly felt like life was the hardest thing and there was nothing to look forward to. Even with the perfect pregnancy I'd experienced, and no life problems. Rob found me that way. Once he convinced me to get up, we decided I needed to tell my doctor. I'm so lucky to have an understanding hubby and also a great doctor, who only asked me if I'd experienced this before (yes, all through high school) and gave me something to help. It did. Life was brighter through the rest of my pregnancy and post partum. I'm so so so grateful for my sweet Rob and awesome doctor!

Lately, I've been struggling. Not a lot, but I've felt these creeping feelings invading my life again. There is no explanation, I have a sexy hubby, a sweet boy, a comfortable home, and a thriving business. But some mornings, I still wake up with a feeling of what is there to get up for? And every morning that happens, I have to force myself to shake it off and tell myself what needs to be done and move on. I do not have an extreme case of depression. Nothing near what it seems Robin Williams had to fight. But I feel for him. I've had a glimpse of what that life is like and it's hard. Inexplicable.

I know this is such a hard thing to ask, but friends who do not struggle with this, please try to be there for your friends who do. I'm not asking you to understand, as it's an impossible feeling to understand without experiencing it, but empathize. Truly ask your friends how they are doing and show how you need them in your life. Be there for someone. Help them through it. If you feel they need something, do it without asking. Help them see the truth instead of the lies. These things can help bring that glimmer back, help that person see the light at the end of a long, dark, muddy tunnel. They will remember you. They will remember who was there to ask if they are okay and help through the dark times.

And I will try to be better too.

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And since I have no photos for this post, here's my nerdy interpretation of the supermoon from last week.

Saturday, August 16, 2014

Corey Family Reunion 2014

Steph planned this a year and a half ago! And though I was sad that so few made it, it was really great to see all of my family that did! We loved our whirlwind weekend at the cabin, just wish we could have stayed a day or two longer!

On our way up, we were informed that we needed to make an emergency stop for Famous Amos, to prevent a brewing riot over none at the cabin. Logan was very excited to carry the box of "hookies" to the shopping cart.

Pure fun.

Only the beginning of a perfect weekend.

Chris pulled the old rocking horse out. Matilda loved it and then Logan just had to copy her on it!

Love that cute girl's smile!

Testing the limits of it....

Trying to take a photo of all the grandkids.... 

And, you know, my kid is so well behaved when it comes to sitting still. 

Lucy got one! Woohoo!

Such cute cousins together!

At home this morning, Logan noticed his little motorcycle sitting in the corner of the garage. (We never got it to work.) He came running to me saying, "Cycle! A Logan cycle!" I wish he could ride it now, he was begging me to get it out! Hopefully his little glide down the driveway with Uncle Josh made him happy. :)

He also then saw cousins going on the ATV and said "Cycle!" I said "No, ATV." He yelled excitedly "ABC!"

We were lucky enough to share a hotel cabin with Steph's family. It was perfect, with our own room and a closet big enough to put the pack'n'play. So we all slept well without disturbing each other. And you know it's going to be a good day when you wake up to a happy little voice saying, "1, 2, 8, 9, 10! Candy!"

Awww, Fefe.

Logan holding hands again.... He loved the pinecones she got for him!

We were going to do the river trip in the morning, but it was too cold. Logan walked around like this for a little while, until I decided he needed pants, instead of just a swim diaper.

No, my son is not a dog, why would you say that?

Derek *tried* to teach him how to throw a frisbee.

Cheesy namesake photo on vacay.

Ready to go on the river in the afternoon!

Such attractive siblings I have....

Rob brought the GoPro. I have to admit, I really love some of the photos and videos we got from it!

Josh, the sexy river goddess.

Just as we were getting started. Most of us were still together at this point.

"Hey Elle!"



Rob complained that he didn't get to work out that morning. After all the rowing he did, I didn't hear much complaining anymore....

Defying gravity.

Floaters, drifting away....

Though who wants to stay near that?! Punk kid.

Hi Steph!

Just chillin'. So perfect.

I am oh-so-glad we decided to take our boat. Lots more comfortable for all of us, especially this active kiddo.

Logan's favorite sight, a boat full of doggies!

My little copycat.


He was alllll over the boat, the whole time.

More splashing!

Thanks to a nasty headwind, we ended up being on the river for 3+ hours. Poor kiddo, right in the middle of his nap. About the last hour or so, he just passed out on my lap, see the lump under the towel in the video.

Chris and 'Tilda joined us for the last 45 minutes! She loved kicking and splashing!

On the last leg with Chris, 'Tilda, and Josh.

He woke up close to the very end. It took him a while to totally wake up and not be a grumpy gus.

After the river trip was dinner! We got one photo of the entire group that made it. I am so glad I got to see all this family!

These babies sure loved the cookies and Grandpa's yummy rootbeer!

Logan fell in love with Jai's "asaor".

A little meltdown and timeout in the woods....

Of course, copying Matilda. It just looked too fun to pass up!

Both kiddos loved playing with Sol.

Mom and Dad's cornhole game (from Chris) got good use.

On our way home! The weekend really wore this kid out, he slept so hard to whole time!